A Melancholia

And I will be waiting for you,
as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off
somewhere else, asleep.
-Pablo Neruda.

1. I wonder why I am here while the rest of my colleagues are enjoying themselves? The hardest part comes when I feel lonely. Emotionally lonely. I miss everything and everyone. The only thing that can make me happier rite now is by imagining all of them are here, walking together to the class, listening to each other's story, dramatizing the things that occur in our society, dancing and singing, and spend some times together under the moon light.

2. Happiness : None. I pray to God may He eases all the things for this on-going 5 months, makes me tough enough and be patient to wait for a miracle. A little touch of miracle can make me feel better. A miracle that can change my path. A miracle that can ensure my future. A miracle that worth a thousand efforts.

3. Please. Allow me to feel better again. Allow me to be happy again. Allow me. Damn it.

7 comment(s):

Dcera Ismail said...

Is your new place has any good? :)

amira mustafa said...

good luck buddy!jangan sedih sedih.have a good life ahead and make a circle of new friends there.:)

fthlnzm said...

cik Q : bolehlah. sini macam uia jugak. islamik. ada international students.

mira : thank you, pal. insyaAllah. i'm working on it. walaupun susah. :(

Aliya K said...

i was once in your situation.
don't worry. keep yourself close to the quran. baca tafsir skali. baca ayat 1000 dinar dan hayati maksudnya.
insya-Allah, you'll feel better.
be positive and smile always!

fthlnzm said...

thank you aliya.

yeah. that's what i'm doing rite now.
carrying quran everywhere, everytime to
remind myself the closest thing that i have
rite now is He.

insyaAllah. i'll be okay. insyaAllah.

aisyah said...

be brave fatah, semua orang akan melalui fasa ni.

keep in your mind that you have us to help you no matter what happen, you got me kid :)

Anonymous said...

i believe something good awaits u there. everything happens for a reason. always remember,Allah is the best planner ^^. one fine day, everything will be okay. insyaAllah.